Jon Should Not Be King

[SPOILERS for the “Game of Thrones” Season Seven finale, “The Dragon and the Wolf”]

“It may seem that way from the outside.” – Jon Snow (or whoever)

There’s a scene in the Season Seven finale of “Game of Thrones” where Theon and Jon are talking about family. During this scene, Theon remarks that Jon always seems to do the right thing, that he always seems to make the right choice. In Theon’s eyes, Jon is the golden child. He can do no wrong. Then Jon says the above: “It may seem that way from the outside.”

Despite countless jokes about various sex organs in the season finale, I can safely say that this was the hardest I laughed the whole episode. Nope. Sorry, Jon. It does not seem that way at all from the outside. In fact, from the outside, you look like an idiot.

Pretty much every character did call him out for announcing his allegiance to Daenerys at the exact wrong time, so people are aware that he’s stupid. But this man is still the “King of the North.” And apparently, based on what we were told at the end of the episode, he may be much more than that, too. The same guy who led the dumbest expedition north of all-time could be the heir to the Iron Throne.

I apologize for harping on this, but we need to talk more about that expedition north. The events of the finale demand it. Two big things happened in this episode:

1) The Night King broke through The Wall using a dragon that died saving Jon and Co. from dying while they tried to get a White Walker to bring to Cersei.

2) Cersei is not interested in fighting in the North. She would like to continue plotting to kill her enemies instead.

I doubt the show will return to this, but this means the plan was a failure in literally every way. They brought the White Walker to Cersei. She didn’t care. (They might still think she did, but really, she didn’t.) This means they lost a dragon for nothing. Not only that, they lost a dragon that just one episode later helped burn down a wall that I’m pretty sure everyone was banking on keeping the living and the dead separated. So the plan didn’t work, and in fact, it made things much, much worse for the entire Westerosi race. I know the last two episodes have been cool and breathtaking and pretty entertaining, but I really don’t think this is something to gloss over as the show positions Jon as the rightful heir to the throne. The man is an idiot, and I don’t know if he could rule over a ham sandwich.

Some thoughts (because there was way too much going on in this episode to possibly process it all): 

• The wall came down: I heard some whispers online in the last week that this might happen, so it wasn’t a total surprise (I really should stop reading the internet). But boy, did it look good. The visual effects on this show have become so good that you almost forget it’s TV. It’s almost like it’s not TV, it’s … just kidding.
• No one died: Remember when “Game of Thrones” felt like a show where anybody could die? After this season, it’s starting to feel like that was a lie. Pretty much everyone of note survived this season. The ground has certainly become shakier beneath them, but it’s a bummer to have to wait years to make any significant plot movement with the way this show used to surprise.
• Jon is King: Congrats, book readers. I’m sure this was a super fun moment for you.
• Cersei + Tyrion 4ever: One thing “Thrones” can do like no other show is play on the deep, complex history of the characters when they share the screen together after years apart. This episode, we had Tyrion/Bronn, Hound/Brienne, Brienne/Jamie, Tyrion/Jamie, Jon/Theon, and I’m sure many more that I can’t remember. But putting Lena Headey and Peter Dinklage back in the same room might have been the best thing they’ve done all year. That scene was electric.
• Cersei is not pregnant, right? This seems obvious. If she actually had a forthcoming heir, she might have honestly considered the truce. She certainly would have killed Jamie when he announced his intentions. She’s got plans, and I’m looking forward to seeing them end in her fiery death next season. (You can’t be wrong on a prediction if you just keep making it, right?) In all honesty, I’m glad she’s still on the board.
• Theon back: [Insert joke about him not having balls here]
• Littlefinger dead: The Winterfell stuff all kind of fell flat for me in the back half of this season. The Arya-Sansa stuff was tough to get through, even though (I guess?) most of it was intentionally contrived, and Littlefinger’s death seemed obvious a mile away. Also, the moment when Sansa called him out instead of Arya made me groan, which was probably not the desired reaction.
• George R.R. Martin Up Arrow: This season was kind of a jumbled mess plot-wise, with a lot of things seeming to happen too quickly just so the writers could get to certain benchmarks. This gives the books a bright future if Martin ever finishes them, because he has a lot more room to explore (and possibly change) the events that led to this point. He can make the characters’ decisions sensible and consistent and make their plans much smarter.
• Dany is Jon’s aunt: Ew. What is it with grand science fiction/fantasy epics and incest?
• We are stupid: I mean … I’m still so in on this journey, you guys.