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Daenerys Is Evil

August 16, 2017 / Taylor Gaines

You may have noticed there was no podcast this week. That’s because I was on vacation. I promise we’ll make up for it in the coming weeks, but I wanted to throw out a little bonus blog post to fill the space. Here are some thoughts on “Game of Thrones” as it nears the end of its shortened seventh season.

Everybody keeps telling us that Daenerys is not like her father. That she’s not evil. That maybe she’s the “princess that was promised.”

Her supporters love her. She could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and burn somebody to death and not lose any of her loyal followers.

But guys, listen. Last week, Daenerys spent the better part of the episode riding her dragon around and burning men alive. This week, she burned some more just for good measure. This may not be relevant in Westeros, but I don’t think Daenerys is a good person.

She’ll tell you she just wants to destroy the wheel and not the people in her way. But it’s hard to take that too seriously when she’s telling people to bend the knee or die in the same breath. She tells Tyrion, “They made their choice.” But there were many other men than the two Tarlys she burned alive that also chose not to kneel. She didn’t murder all of them. She simply waited for them to become terrified after she cremated a couple of their friends.* Even before that, they didn’t really have much of a choice. At all points, the choice was “die” or “come with me if you want to not die.” The only thing that changed was that the soldiers knew they would die via dragon (which, c’mon, they had to have a pretty good idea was going to happen anyway).

*Side note: Daenerys really did seem to pick out Tarly Senior at random from the group of still-standing soldiers, but I’m sure there’s some reason why she somehow recognized he was the leader or something.

The “choice” she gave them reminded me of Cersei’s line from later in the episode.

“We fight and die, or we submit and die. I know my choice.” – Cersei

When it came down to it, the soldiers had two terrible options and choosing to not die is not the same as choosing to follow someone because they freed you from slavery. As Dany gets closer to power, she is becoming corruptible.

I’m concerned.

Plus, when it comes to the way the entire story is developing, a Dany heel turn feels inevitable. The story was about the Starks at the beginning, and it seems to be headed back that way now. (Screw you, book readers. Jon might be a Targaryen, but he was raised a Stark.) Jon is the de facto hero of the show, and Bran, Sansa and Arya are a couple speed bumps away from forming a hell of a team. Also, Jon is Ice and Dany is Fire, and Ice is good and Fire is bad. My bold prediction is that the Starks end up on top, and everyone lives happily ever after.

Right? What could possibly go wrong?

Other Thoughts

Jk, death is coming for us all, and with winter finally here, s*** is about to go down. This “Actually Interesting Suicide Squad” should be fun to watch.
I’ve always been a big Littlefinger fan, but I’m starting to think he’s just delaying the inevitable. Big player will die a big death, though, I say.
Cersei looks back in the game suddenly. Of course she’d use the White Walkers as a distraction to further her agenda. Tywin’s daughter ain’t dead yet. And there’s another incest baby on the way! (My prediction of her being dead by the end of this shortened season seems increasingly unlikely.)
Speaking of incest, can we not pair up Dany and Jon? I’m honestly not even saying that for incest-related reasons. Emilia Clarke and Kit Harington just don’t have any chemistry. Don’t do this to us.
A lot of comebacks this week to the game board with Jorah and Gendry and the Hound and the Brotherhood Without Banners and everything. I gotta be honest, I don’t really remember who’s who or who’s met before or why everyone doesn’t like each other. Who cares?
Peter Dinklage’s work in that scene with Jaime was just next-level. The best performance on a show with a lot of good ones.
“Here we all are, at the edge of the world.”

We’re all on the same side.

Two episodes left!

I Found My New Favorite Podcast And It’s Not New At All

August 14, 2017 / Taylor Gaines

I typically have a massive podcast diet. I’m subscribed to probably 35 or 40 podcasts, and I often listen to most – if not all – of the episodes that pop up on my phone. Two weeks ago, things changed. I’ve only been listening to one podcast: “Comedy Bang! Bang!”

So eight years too late, I’m here to tell you, go listen to this podcast. I’d heard of it before (and apparently there’s a TV show, which I’ve never watched), but it wasn’t until the podcast had released its 500th episode that I finally decided to give it a try. Boy, I wish I had done so sooner. If you’re looking for a laugh, or just a bit of distraction from day-to-day life, I can’t imagine anything better.

The podcast started in May 2009, and most of the episodes aren’t even on the iTunes feed anymore, but there’s plenty to dig into to get a taste of what you’re dealing with. When I started, I downloaded the “Best Of” year-end episodes from last year as well as some featuring comedians or entertainers I particularly wanted to hear from.

Still, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The show is far crazier than I could have imagined. Let me try to explain. In essence, it’s an improv comedy podcast. The host, Scott Aukerman, will bring on a guest or three and they’ll riff and make jokes and do an “interview” for the first third or so of the show. He typically asks atypical (but very funny in their directness or weirdness) interview questions. For instance, he recently asked Jon Hamm what number he was on the call sheet and once asked Adam Scott what his address was (to which he apparently responded because his answer was bleeped out on the podcast). Then, the original interview subjects, or some improv comedians who had been sitting out at the beginning, will jump into the conversation as characters. They pretend it’s still a normal interview, but the characters’ stories quickly unfold in the most absurd, ridiculous, hilarious ways you could imagine. (I particularly recommend the original “Farts and Procreation” episode with Harris Wittels, Adam Scott and Chelsea Peretti, which is still on the podcast feed.)

Not every joke lands, obviously, but the worlds that are created and molded during each conversation are fascinating and fun to follow along with. It’s particularly entertaining listening to the comedians test each other while improvising to see how long they can follow a topic or train of thought. Aukerman, and frequent guest Jason Mantzoukas, in particular, are really good at trying to poke holes in the stories the improvisers are creating while helping to build a more interesting narrative. This gives the listener an amazing insight into the cleverness and wit it takes to stay at the top of your game as other improvisers jab away. (There’s also a heightened awareness on the show of the way people use and repeat and misspeak words that is really fun to listen to if you’re an English nerd like me. Aukerman himself constantly misspeaks and calls himself on it or is called on it, which in and of itself has led to catchphrases within the show.)

I heartily believe listening to this show makes you sharper, and I have a lot of thoughts about it, but that’s all I’ve got for now. I’ll probably write more about the show later because I feel like I’ve only just begun to dip my toe in the waters of “Comedy Bang! Bang!”, but I wanted to give it a shout-out in case anyone is looking for a good time during their commute this week.

Thank you for all the great times we’ve had together so far, Mr. Aukerman, but please be a little less funny so I don’t have to pull over on my way to work to keep from crashing because I’m laughing so hard.

‘Rick and Morty’ is the Darkest – and Funniest – Timeline

August 11, 2017 / Taylor Gaines

[This post includes spoilers for Season Three of “Rick and Morty”.]

Here’s a brief list of things that have happened on “Rick and Morty” so far this season.

Beth and Jerry get divorced.
Rick eats human flesh.
Morty takes on the phantom limb of a man whose entire family was burned to death, which leads to him murdering (conservatively) hundreds of people in incredibly gruesome and violent ways.
Rick and Morty drown a man together while hashing things out about the divorce of Morty’s parents.
While embodying a pickle, Rick murders a cockroach and dozens of rats in ways that would make John Wick flinch.
Before killing dozens of men (again, as a pickle), Rick says of their children, “I’m not gonna take their dreams. I’m gonna take their parents.”

I feel uncomfortable just typing all those things out. If you’ve never seen “Rick and Morty,” it probably sounds like the most disturbing thing on TV. And, well, you’re right. But – and this is a tough pivot – it’s also the funniest show on TV right now. You may not believe me, but there’s basically a solid laugh every 15-20 seconds on any given “Rick and Morty” episode. It’s hard to discern what makes this toxic balance of darkness and comedy work, but it’s undeniably all there. Maybe Dan Harmon’s recent divorce combined with his off-kilter comedic voice was a big part of it. Maybe it’s the appeal of an animated sci-fi show with infinite worlds to travel to, populated by seemingly infinite funny characters. I really don’t know. All I know is that “Rick and Morty” is one of the first shows to truly master the mix of sad and com. It’s like “BoJack Horseman” if “BoJack Horseman” was on cocaine and also had ADD.

“Rick and Morty” is absurd, but it’s also grounded in something frighteningly real. An episode about Rick turning into a pickle to get out of going to therapy with his family shifts from funny to depressing with ease. It winds up in a place of poignancy and nihilism that’s hard to describe. It’s a story that makes your heart hurt for whoever wrote it because it feels so real. But it’s also so funny! Because all we can do to get by is laugh, right?

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. A crazy, ranting Rick monologue from the first episode of the season that vacillates wildly between one end of the spectrum and the other. (Warning: it’s also very meta.)

Morty: Geez, are my parents seriously gonna get divorced? Alright, Rick, I’m gonna go to my –

Rick: Not so fast, Morty. You heard your mom. We’ve got adventures to go on, Morty, just you and me. And sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom. But never your dad! You wanna know why, Morty? Because he crossed me!

Morty: Okay, take it easy, Rick. That’s dark.

Rick: Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different, no more Dad, Morty. He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away.

Morty: Oh, [expletive].

Rick: I’ve replaced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister. So now you know the real reason I rescued you. I just took over the family, Morty! If you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll deny it, and they’ll take my side because I’m a hero, Morty. Now you’re gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty. Forever. And I’ll go out and I’ll find some more of that Mulan Szechuan Teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty.

Morty: (interjecting) What are you talking about?

Rick: Because that’s what this is all about, Morty. That’s my one-armed man. I’m not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty. That was fake. I’m driven by finding that McNugget sauce. I want that Mulan McNugget sauce, Morty. That’s my series arc, Morty.

Morty: (interjecting) What the hell?

Rick: If it takes nine seasons. I want my McNuggets…dipping sauce, Szechuan sauce, Morty. That’s what’s gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty. Season – Nine more seasons, Morty. Nine more seasons until I get that dipping Szechuan sauce.

Morty: (interjecting) What is that?

Rick: For 97 more years, Morty. I want that McNugget sauce, Morty.

One second he’s talking about taking over the family, the next he’s talking about McNugget sauce. One second they’re talking about divorce, the next Rick is making meta jokes about season storylines and series arcs. One second they’re talking about leaving out Jerry, the next they’re talking about leaving out Jerry. It’s darkness, light, darkness, light, darkness, light everywhere. And it’s all from the very distinct viewpoint of a man who has to constantly be in control to keep moving forward. He always has to be the smartest guy in the room. Morty describes him more aptly earlier in the episode, saying Rick is not a hero or a villain, but some kind of a “super-f*****-up god.”

The strange thing is that there’s potential for a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone on “Rick and Morty” seems scared and alone and hopeless – a lot of the second episode took place in a “Mad Max”-like reality where survival for its own sake is all that matters. But then there was the end of the third episode, “Pickle Rick.” A moment when Rick’s nihilism was met with … something else. Here’s the scene from the family therapy session. (Keep in mind: Rick is a pickle in this scene.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukL12WtJNo8

Therapist: Why didn’t you want to come here?

Rick: Because I don’t respect therapy. Because I’m a scientist. Because I invent, transform, create and destroy for a living, and when I don’t like something about the world, I change it. And I don’t think going to a rented office in a strip mall to listen to some agent of averageness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything. I think it’s helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking, which is a state of mind we value in the animals we eat, but not something I want for myself. I’m not a cow. I’m a pickle. When I feel like it. So … you asked.

Therapist: Rick, the only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family, you included, use intelligence to justify sickness. You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse, and I think it’s because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it’s your mind within your control. You chose to come here. You chose to talk, to belittle my vocation, just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe, and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces, your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand. I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy. The same way I’m bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining and cleaning is, it’s not an adventure. There’s no way to do it so wrong you might die. It’s just work. And the bottom line is some people are okay going to work, and some people, well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose.

This exchange seems to set up the central conflict for the season, and for the series. Are Rick’s adventures just attempts to die in order to not have to contemplate the universe anymore? Does he have it in him to “choose work”? Can he build a life that has meaning?

I’m not sure what the answers to those questions are, and I’m not sure we’re going to like what we find. It’s going to be dark. We’re on a journey to the center of Rick’s soul, and there’s no telling what – if anything – we’re going to find.

Weirdly, the only thing I know for sure is that it’s going to be a really funny trip.

‘Game of Thrones’ Ep. 704 – Feel The Heat

August 8, 2017 / Taylor Gaines

Taylor Gaines is joined by Bryan Faux to talk about “Game of Thrones” Season 7. They break down the big battle scene at the end of Sunday night’s episode, where all the characters currently stand, forced romantic relationships and what it means to have “Thrones” on TV in 2017.

You can find all of our previous podcasts on our website, TheFauxworthyPodcast.com and on iTunes. Subscribe, rate, and review!

As always, thanks to Levi Bradford for the theme song. You can find his music at poblano.bandcamp.com.

Martin Sheen In ‘Gandhi’ Is A Bad Journalist

August 7, 2017 / Taylor Gaines

I want to talk about something we don’t talk about enough. Journalism in movies.

I’ve been watching a lot of random old stuff lately, so the most recent egregious portrayal of journalism I’ve seen in a film is in 1982’s “Gandhi.” It’s a movie about historical figure Gandhi, starring Ben Kingsley as Gandhi. It also features Martin Sheen as a New York Times reporter named Walker (and Daniel Day-Lewis as a racist guy??!). It’s like three hours long and surprisingly boring for a movie about such a fascinating character. But I’m not here to talk about that.

I’m here to talk about Martin Sheen’s journalism. So, his character, Walker, shows up a couple different times in the movie to follow Gandhi around and write a story about him. I want to talk about his techniques, because they are terrible.

My credentials: I have been doing news reporting since high school. I have taken years of journalism classes and even have a degree in journalism. I have reported and written many stories. I am very knowledgeable of the way reporting and newswriting is supposed to work. I may not have won any Pulitzers or anything, but I know the rules and principles of journalism. And while rules may be made to be broken, a reporter from the New York Times would certainly be expected to adhere to journalistic rules and principles.

All that being said, let me list three reasons why Martin Sheen is a bad journalist in “Gandhi.”

1) He is never seen with a pad or pen the entire movie.

There are more scenes like the one above, but take note: Walker never writes anything down when he’s talking to Gandhi. Gandhi is one of the most famous spiritual thinkers of all-time. He has a million great quotes that you can find in all kinds of history books. True to form, in this scene alone, he drops a ton of great ones right in front of Walker. And Walker, inexplicably, doesn’t write any of them down! He asks several good questions of Gandhi, but WHAT’S THE POINT IF YOU LITERALLY NEVER WRITE ANYTHING DOWN?! Does he have some kind of photographic memory or some equivalent that allows him to remember every word Gandhi speaks to him? If he has this power, they don’t make it clear in this film. And if Gandhi’s so smart — and respects newspapers so much, as he says in this scene — why doesn’t he ever say, “Hey dog, are you writing any of this down? I’m dropping golden nuggs, man”?

Walker is going to have a very hard time writing an accurate, fact-based story relying solely on memory. This is a gaping, unforgivable plot hole.

2) He openly applauds during Gandhi’s Salt March.

Journalists are supposed to remain objective while covering stories. To not “cheer in the press box,” so to speak. You don’t pick sides, and you make every effort to keep emotion from interfering with the story you’re covering. You may disagree with this policy, but it’s the way things are, and a publication like THE NEW YORK TIMES was definitely following this standard in the early 20th century. Walker does a horrifying job of remaining objective. After Gandhi scoops some salt from the ocean at the conclusion of his iconic Salt March, the crowd begins cheering and applauding. Walker — like some kind of hack — decides to join in and start clapping and cheering, too, which is all too easy to do because he doesn’t have a pad or pen in his hands anyway.

Look, it’s okay to like the subjects you’re covering. It’s maybe even okay to tell them that. But you should never — NEVER — get caught on television cheering like you’re at the seventh game of the World Series. This is bad journalism.

3) His story is incredibly slanted.

There’s a scene toward the end of the movie where Sheen recites his story into a telephone (presumably for someone else to type up for him, I don’t know, we don’t do things that way now, we use computers, GET A COMPUTER WALKER). Here’s a little taste of that story:

“Whatever moral ascendancy the West held, it has lost it here today.”

Okay so … Save it for the editorial section, Walker. You should never — NEVER — be stating, as fact, that “the West has lost its moral ascendancy.” This is, unquestionably, an incredibly biased statement. You know what would have worked well here? A quote! Perhaps one from Gandhi, saying essentially the same thing (and probably in a much smarter way), or perhaps one from a British leader stating the opposite viewpoint. EXCEPT IT’S PROBABLY PRETTY TOUGH TO PUT QUOTES IN YOUR STORY WHEN YOU LITERALLY NEVER WRITE ANYTHING DOWN.

The New York Times should have much higher standards than this Walker guy. Bad reporting, bad conduct, bad story.

I hope he was fired.

On The Island