Tom Hardy Is Our Greatest Living Actor

In “Dunkirk,” there’s a scene where Tom Hardy’s plane glides gently over the sandy beaches of Dunkirk. It’s beautiful and awe-inspiring and very emotional.

I won’t spoil anything about the film, but I found it odd that this scene was so emotional. I thought about why this was.

In “Dunkirk,” Tom Hardy mostly wears an oxygen mask, scribbles in chalk and moves his head around. I think he waves once. At several points during the movie, it becomes clear that Tom Hardy is our greatest living eyeball actor.

I underestimated him, though. The emotion I felt during that aforementioned scene makes that very clear. Tom Hardy is not only our greatest living eyeball actor, but our greatest living actor, period.

I’ve gathered the evidence for you below. Let’s look into it.

This is not the first time Tom Hardy has given an amazing eyeball-based performance.

I was just talking about Tom Hardy’s eyes, so we should start there.

Remember “The Dark Knight Rises”? The mildly disappointing conclusion to the most important trilogy in modern, big-budget filmmaking in the last 15 years? Tom Hardy played the villain, Bane, in that movie. The whole time, you can pretty much only see his eyes and his bulging neck. When you watch the movie now, it is clear that Tom Hardy gave the most underrated villain performance in modern comic book movie history. It’s such a great performance that super-important people have even stolen from his prison speech over the years.

Exhibit A.

This is not the first time Tom Hardy has given an amazing performance while sitting in a transportation vehicle for an entire movie.

“Locke” takes place in a car. Tom Hardy drives the car. Sometimes, Tom Hardy makes phone calls from the car. Sometimes, Tom Hardy doesn’t make phone calls from the car, but instead receives phone calls. He does this for about 90 minutes. Then the movie ends.

You won’t be able to take your eyes off the screen.

Next.

This is not the first time Tom Hardy has given an amazing performance with like 12 or 13 words total.

To my recollection, this scene in “Mad Max: Fury Road” is pretty much the only one where Tom Hardy manages to string more than a couple sentences together. However, Tom Hardy saying, “My name is Max” is the most emotional thing that happened in a movie in 2015. It’s inexplicable. The only explanation is that Tom Hardy is from an alien species that exists simply to give amazing acting performances on the planet Earth. I don’t know why his species came here to do something so seemingly trivial, but I’m very grateful. With these four words, he won me over.

Tom Hardy is also great at acting when he uses a lot of words in a movie.

You probably haven’t forgotten “Inception,” but you’ve probably forgotten that Tom Hardy is actually the best thing in the movie. He’s sly and witty and funny and truly embodies his character with every movement. This scene is the perfect example. It also proves that Tom Hardy has not just recently become our greatest living actor. He has been our greatest living actor for years.

Anything else?

Oh, yeah.

Tom Hardy made me watch more than one episode of “Taboo.”

“Taboo” is a dumb and bad show that aired on FX earlier this year. Tom Hardy is in it. In fact, he’s the star of it. It’s about land and the East India Trading Company or something. It’s not worth your time. Still, Tom Hardy is so good at acting that I watched four episodes of this show trying to convince myself I could like it. I couldn’t. But the fact that I tried says it all. He’s a man you’d do anything to watch perform.

In conclusion…

Tom Hardy shall prevail over all until the end. Tom Hardy shall act with his eyes, and he shall act with his neck veins. Tom Hardy shall act with a few words, and Tom Hardy shall act with many words. Tom Hardy shall out-act everyone, whatever the cost may be — a great movie, or a terrible TV show. Tom Hardy shall never surrender.

If, which I do not for a moment believe, Tom Hardy or a large part of him were out-acted, then our cinema would carry on the struggle, until, in God’s good time, Tom Hardy, with all his power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of us all.